I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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