girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
