Plan B is the new Plan A
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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