He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
