Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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