It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
