Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
