how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
