Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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