Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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