No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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