Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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