Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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