please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
