i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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