the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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