OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
