He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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