the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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