he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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