you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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