Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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