Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize