It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have already put on my inside pants.
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