Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
