That's intense
No stitches, just platelets and will power
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
foreskin is a definite game changer
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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