Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize