so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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