So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
