I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
