My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
