There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
