Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
