hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
