for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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