Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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