Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
