I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
