I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
