Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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