"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
