ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
