This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i dont even know how to be here
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
