I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
