My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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