Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
