yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize