ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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