I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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