my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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