What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
