Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
