Your tits are I can't wait for
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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