So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
