I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
