i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I die, sorry about rent.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
