I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize