Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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