I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize