Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
