You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
