dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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