His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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