I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
