yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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