He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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