Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just threw up on my dentist
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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